Ok, back then I was hysterical Hüseyin, now it’s time for me to become the historical one.

Before delivering the context and the roots of my name, I think I must give a short epistemological explanation with regards to the roots of my name. Hüseyin comes from the word ‘Hüsn’ in Arabic, which means ‘beauty’. For example, there is a long poem written by an Ottoman poet named Seyh Galib, who was influenced by Indian poetry and gave the name to his poem ‘Hüsn ü Aşk’, which means ‘Beauty and Love’. So it originates from the word beauty and becomes a word which has further meanings like the loved one, and the beauty of soul and body.

I

Very recently I figured that there is another experience one should have to fulfil one’s life: to confront with his/her name. If what we call ‘fate’ really exists, that might be trapped in the name one is given.

Some names come from a historical event, some from the country of language itself, and some from religion: contexts in which names are grown with meaning.

I remember the verse: Near an olive tree in the holy books which elevate the plains of language…*

My name stands near to an olive tree which has stains of blood.

II

My name and I were two separate things, but then we combined. The poetry is the glue that holds us together.

Mine is a name which is heavy with the mourning of dead and centuries of marginalisation.

In the history of Islam, there is a point at which the recent death of the prophet causes turmoil and creates a power vacuum. Factions among Muslims occur and the ones who want to rule the vast Islamic Empire clash with the grandson of the prophet, Hüseyin, who is known with his beauty. They brutally kill Hüseyin, whose father was also murdered in a similar incident. There are a lot of graphic stories in Islamic literature about what they did to his corpse.

This incident, the war which ended the life of Hüseyin, is known as Kerbela/Karbala (meaning bad event). It marks a rupture that created the everlasting clash between the two major sects of Islam. The ones who were defeated at Kerbela have formed the Shia group in Islam and have protected the name by carrying it through generations, looking after it as a gem. For them, the name symbolizes their hatred against oppression, the defeat of the good, and the lament for the loss of the beautiful.

III

Although I am an atheist and my family is not Shia, I have always felt the mystic connotations and the emotional power of my name, maybe due to the presence of religious groups in Turkey who uphold the story of Hüseyin. In part, it has been through my name that I despised oppression and authority. I feel that I have been fed up with the political lies and the deceptive narratives that have caused members of nations to hate the people from other nations.

Two more lines:

If any question why we died,

Tell them, because our fathers lied.**

*Mahmoud Darwish

** Rudyard Kipling